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Senyum Tersembunyi

--kepada Ampera



entah bagaimana aku dapat melukiskan wajahmu
mejameja retak ketika dimulai garis pertama
yang membentuk sudut lengkung lehermu

aku tidak akan mengawali atau mengingat
arsiran yang dimuarakan ke sarafkulitmu
mungkin kau akan peka ketika melihatnya

tapi di sinilah gambarmu akan benar-benar bicara
karena kertas ini yang meminta wajahmu yang basah

ingatlah ketika
tanganku mesti senantiasa lembab dan berlumut.
lalu kau hanya diam dan berkata
:
"hatikulah yang tersenyum sebenarnya
bibir tipis dengan gincu pucat ini
hanyalah tipudaya. kalau kauingin melihat bagaimana
senyum itu menetas
masuklah ke dalam bajuku
lalu kau akan menemui sepasang pisau
untuk memotong rusukku yang tumbuh liar
di dalamnya mengalir darah dari segala
galau dan risau. maka sumbernya adalah hati
ltulah senyumanku yang paling tersembunyi"

aku makin gemetar
yang kulihat melalui lubanglubang
yang kasap cahaya
semua menganak dari hatimu

inilah sungai
sebagai sumber yang amat abadi
dari dadamu yang banyak pertanda
senyummu dapat kubelah
lalu aku simpan
di dada : tempat yang katamu tersembunyi



palembang, 20-21 maret 2010
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