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Life Recently Hard, Let's Hold Hands Again

Hi Daddy K, I really wanted to tell you a story of a couple who were arguing about things. They were close but they scolded each other. Logically, when we're close physically, it's unnecessary to yell a deafening scream. Words hurt a lot. Anger fastens the pain and triggered two hearts growing apart.  What about when we fell in love? Miles away didn't matter since the hearts were dancing very close. They did tango. They balanced each other's steps. Peaks and valleys had a great difference, but growing together put their hearts united.  Anger held a significant role in relationship. I was firm. And somehow could show anger. My words were somehow hurtful but Daddy K never raised his voice to scold or even got angry. He has a soft heart. I actually regretted the hurtful words coming out of my mouth. I somehow failed showing empathy. Dear Daddy K, if only you're here, I'm sure no words can describe the feelings I have now. I hope a warm hug could soothe you and us. ...
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The Most Precious Thing

To my fiancé, thank you for being a strong man even when hard times still hit that hard. Your 'cegil' is so proud of you. Dear Dadda K, to be with you has taken me to love myself more. Thank you for being gentle and listening to me and us. I have never felt less as a woman because I finally found my real power. Through the peaks and valleys, through the lengthy journey, I do believe the right train will never pass us by. In this horse year, let's be more kind to each other. Let kindness be the beginning of our story. Dear Daddy K, there were moments I might be afraid of losing us. The worries somehow spiraling. At the end I have to decide and take an action of not letting the hassle consuming me more. The peace, positivity, and tenderness are greater. This morning I looked at myself through the mirror. I asked, "who is this girl I see?" It instantly brought me back to you. I am loved, and your actions are the living proof. It's not only a love letter. I wrote ...

Moving to A New House

Yes it's true, it's still a house not yet a home. Even if it's still a house, moving from 1 house to another house is somehow challenging. I'm so proud of myself to be able to handle it even if I need to taste the stress a bit. Thank you Svarna Sutera, you've been so kind to us these 2 years. From a peaceful place to a bit crowded one, and that's ok. We created tons of memorable memories, now let's create more Dadda K. I should tell us this because I know we have the capability to create millions. Dadda K, I can see the smile in your eyes today, and that's because my uncle also helped us to uninstall and reinstall. Dear Dadda K, the more we move forward the more I want to be closer. Yes this is an attachment. But I hope, it's a positive one. Amiin. When we grow grey, I wonder what our conversation will be, will it be supporting, will it be encouraging? You know Dadda K, one thing for sure. I'm gonna be a talkative life partner. Why? Because I car...

Morning Thoughts

I miss my longer hair. It was my third time's of having a longer hair. But the hair fall is unmanageable so I had to decide to have it trimmed. That's because I was handling lots of stress too and that's ok. It was approved by Dadda K. He said do what makes me happy. Lol, actually I know why he said that. Thats because he barely know how to respond about choosing the longer one or shorter one. And by the way, he loved it too. I want to start to have my hair dyed. I want it dark blue. Let's see am I able to make it come true since I spend the whole day with kids. Maybe the institution in where I work will allow me to dye my hair dark blue. If not, that's also ok, not a big deal tho. I want to be gentle to myself, I want to have less heartburn. I want to have less stress and worry. I want to surrender, ask for His guidance after doing my best, insya Allah.

A Short Message

I don't intend nor want to be rude with people. But if you insisted to show me what you got was better than mine, I deeply am sorry. You're wrong. I tried to keep myself humble and stayed away from conflict and chaos. This is a gentle reminder that to feel we're superior than others won't give us any good. It takes away our wisdom, peace, and integrity. Maybe life needs to humble you first before you talk big. The best validation comes from within. Positive self-worth is precious. That's all from me. 

To Reset

Most of the times I was afraid of being misunderstood and it made me please people. Many times I doubt my self-worth and focus more on how people will judge me. That was the biggest mistakes I made. This body supposed to be the first one I should treat well with love, care, and respect. Sometimes I gave privilege to people to destroy my inner peace and it made me question my own femininity. To reset, it requires courage and honesty. It's ok to let people go in order to find myself again. I am happy and proud to choose myself amongst the insanity around me. I choose myself to heal. I choose myself to sip the sweetness of being grateful to have a great, resilient, and courage mind, body, and spirit. I will not keep rats and snakes close and it requires commitment to set boundaries. I forgive not to reconcile, but to keep my inner sanity and peace altogether. 

I am Sane

It's an achievement when I'm being able to keep myself sane when the workload is unceasing. It's just a simple wish in this year, that I make an improvement in my gym session. Lunges is one of most challenging thing to do, but it was accepted. I planned to do more but let the commitment answers it. This is going to be Ramadhan soon and I hope I will cope with it well. I comprehend it's gonna be draining, a bit. I'm doing my best too to eat fruits even when I barely enjoy the texture. Let's be sane and burn more. Bismillah