Dum Medium Silentium

Yes it's true, it's still a house not yet a home. Even if it's still a house, moving from 1 house to another house is somehow challenging. I'm so proud of myself to be able to handle it even if I need to taste the stress a bit. Thank you Svarna Sutera, you've been so kind to us these 2 years. From a peaceful place to a bit crowded one, and that's ok. We created tons of memorable memories, now let's create more Dadda K. I should tell us this because I know we have the capability to create millions. Dadda K, I can see the smile in your eyes today, and that's because my uncle also helped us to uninstall and reinstall. Dear Dadda K, the more we move forward the more I want to be closer. Yes this is an attachment. But I hope, it's a positive one. Amiin. When we grow grey, I wonder what our conversation will be, will it be supporting, will it be encouraging? You know Dadda K, one thing for sure. I'm gonna be a talkative life partner. Why? Because I car...

I miss my longer hair. It was my third time's of having a longer hair. But the hair fall is unmanageable so I had to decide to have it trimmed. That's because I was handling lots of stress too and that's ok. It was approved by Dadda K. He said do what makes me happy. Lol, actually I know why he said that. Thats because he barely know how to respond about choosing the longer one or shorter one. And by the way, he loved it too. I want to start to have my hair dyed. I want it dark blue. Let's see am I able to make it come true since I spend the whole day with kids. Maybe the institution in where I work will allow me to dye my hair dark blue. If not, that's also ok, not a big deal tho. I want to be gentle to myself, I want to have less heartburn. I want to have less stress and worry. I want to surrender, ask for His guidance after doing my best, insya Allah.

I don't intend nor want to be rude with people. But if you insisted to show me what you got was better than mine, I deeply am sorry. You're wrong. I tried to keep myself humble and stayed away from conflict and chaos. This is a gentle reminder that to feel we're superior than others won't give us any good. It takes away our wisdom, peace, and integrity. Maybe life needs to humble you first before you talk big. The best validation comes from within. Positive self-worth is precious. That's all from me. 

Most of the times I was afraid of being misunderstood and it made me please people. Many times I doubt my self-worth and focus more on how people will judge me. That was the biggest mistakes I made. This body supposed to be the first one I should treat well with love, care, and respect. Sometimes I gave privilege to people to destroy my inner peace and it made me question my own femininity. To reset, it requires courage and honesty. It's ok to let people go in order to find myself again. I am happy and proud to choose myself amongst the insanity around me. I choose myself to heal. I choose myself to sip the sweetness of being grateful to have a great, resilient, and courage mind, body, and spirit. I will not keep rats and snakes close and it requires commitment to set boundaries. I forgive not to reconcile, but to keep my inner sanity and peace altogether. 

It's an achievement when I'm being able to keep myself sane when the workload is unceasing. It's just a simple wish in this year, that I make an improvement in my gym session. Lunges is one of most challenging thing to do, but it was accepted. I planned to do more but let the commitment answers it. This is going to be Ramadhan soon and I hope I will cope with it well. I comprehend it's gonna be draining, a bit. I'm doing my best too to eat fruits even when I barely enjoy the texture. Let's be sane and burn more. Bismillah 

I found peace when I hit the hay with Bali herbal oil, Kutus-kutus, that could treat aches, fatigue, stiffness, cold, and many more. It scented like Grandma, and it made me reminiscing beautiful moments I had with her.  I found peace when I drank Wedang Jahe. It had to be sipped lukewarm. I would sip it little by little to enjoy the spices that kept my body relaxed. I would normally prepare 2L of wedang jahe and let my friends drank one as well.  I found peace when I traveled or became an outdoorsy by putting on my Sketchers. It has obsolete design but fluffy insoles. Some would say it's outdated and would be challenging to be mixed and matched with our daily outfit. But who cares? Even the doctors strongly recommended these shoes to everyone.  Last one, I found peace when I was able to substitute sambal (chili paste) to wasabi. It had a unique taste and sensation once I ate it. Now I'm able to answer this question. "Am I gonna survive this year without sambal?" Then,...