Langsung ke konten utama

Tanyakan dalam Hati

Bagaimana mungkin seseorang bisa berlaku tulus pada yang lain, sedang yang lain dapat berarti orang terdekat dari lingkaran keluarga dan teman, serta 'the outsiders' yang dapat berarti kekasih, 'the passersby', penjual sayur dan buah di pasar, rekan bekerja, anak didik, dan sebagainya? Bagaimana mungkin kita dapat menerapkan ketulusan?

Mungkin sederhananya seperti ini. Kita berlaku tulus karena sesungguhnya kita memahami ada nilai-nilai keluhuran yang terkandung dalam ketulusan. Ada semacam muatan positif, apabila mengisi tindak-tanduk kita, maka kedamaian dan kesejukan yang akan didapatkan. Atau juga satu hal lagi, pada dasarnya kita menyimpan keinginan untuk diperlakukan dengan cara yang sama, yakni secara tulus. Namun daripada menunggu diperlakukan demikian, kitalah yang memulainya terlebih dahulu.

Lalu bagaimana jika yang terjadi di luar ekspektasi? Bagaimana jika setelah berlaku tulus, tindakan kita tidak dibalas dengan kebaikan yang sama? Lantas marahkah atau kecewakah kita dengannya?

Bergumul seperti ini mungkin bukan barang baru. Hanya saja sejauh mana kita akan bereaksi, memilih untuk dikendalikan emosikah atau sebaliknya, cukup menjadi pengamat yang memahami diri kita sedang marah atau kecewa, sambil mengobservasi sebab dan akibatnya.

Terlalu prematur untuk mengatakan kita seolah dalam genggaman relasi kuasa. Bertindak tulus pun karena kita sebenarnya dikuasai oleh orang-orang di sekitar, oleh harapan-harapan semu, dan ketakutan akan diperlakukan di luar ekpektasi. Terlepas dari dikotomi salah atau benar, masih bersediakah kita untuk tulus? Atau jangan-jangan ini hanya 'trick' atau strategi pemasaran mengenai hubungan baik dan buruk yang berkedok relasi kuasa.

Ketika sedang dibungkam dan dipaksa tunduk, sadar atau tidak kita membayangkan diri berontak sekuat tenaga meskipun yang dikeluarkan suaranya kecil, sulit didengar dan dimengerti oleh lawan bicara. Namun tak salahnya mencoba.

Tabik

Komentar

Postingan populer dari blog ini

Writing As A Love Language

:Vin Elk, Ars Magna, & Lady Loved* Lately, I have enjoyed writing a lot. Writing worked on me the way Dumbledore did while he was in Penseive, so he could experience his memories through other perspectives. He uses it to siphon the excess thoughts from his mind, pour them into the basin, and examine them at leisure. Writing has helped me to untangle my mind, examine what to deliver, communicate the messages verbally and non-verbally, and reflect on how this writing will evoke certain emotions or moods. Writing becomes the mirror that provides insight into who I am, what I desire, what I experience, what I value, and what I am not into. Writing becomes the language that deliberates my inner peace. On another level, writing could answer the quest that dwells in my mind.  I am glad to share what is significant for me right now. Being loved by the right person and people is heaven, and so is being respected, prioritized, supported, desired, and understood. The right person and peop...

The Essence of Learning New Things Every Day

Everyone basically has opportunities to learn something new every day. They learn to get a new skill or to let go of what doesn't belong to them. The cycle comes and goes. Learning something new is not only a shortcut to improve one's life, but also to make one's meaningful, and their presence could make the simplest form of change.  I was once asked about the skills I have other than teaching. I confidently responded to them that I have enough skills in writing, photography, and cooking. While doing my responsibilities in the class, I value the three areas will be beneficial for me in professionalism. I have unlimited resources to access them if one day, I could only choose one area to support me for a living.  As an individual who has to make a move every day, I see learning as a potential way that brings us to become more selfless. We can learn new things every day as long as we have the courage and willingness to be a beginner. A beginner carries honesty since they have...

A One Year-Old Bonding

I was having a brief and light conversation with my boyfriend about how to create more memorable stories, create sparks in our relationship, and make better plans for our future. What I deeply appreciate about him is that he never ceases making plans for us as if he knows exactly where we're going, the potential issues we are going to face, how to cope with hard conversations, and many more. Reassurance, emotional support, and acts of service speak louder than just words. In lieu of the conversation, we had opposite points of view on how we would build healthy relationships and bondings in marriage while each of us is trying our best to achieve our goals. In addition, I am aware of his endeavors to listen more, to be more transparent in making decisions, to welcome discussions, to work collaboratively, and to articulate what we feel and what we think about assertively. We want to find the best route that could accommodate our needs in particular. There was a funny moment when I sud...