Langsung ke konten utama

B I Y U N G

bahwa dalam namamu Biyung
kusantukkan kepala ini, di sebuah alas mirip ambal berbulu
wajah-wajah masjid dan tafakur
bertahan lama hingga sujud terakhir

percakapan biasa dan tangis tak dapat dibedakan
keduanya merdu dalam harmoni
aku teringat doa sepuluh tahun terakhir
tumbuh subur di buku harian

dan bayang-bayang ketidakpastian 
acapkali terdengar lirih, 
seperti ada yang ingin menerkam, 
dalam radius kurang dari sepuluh meter
seekor anak kijang di padang rumput itu berlari
mengejar kawanan dan induknya di seberang

Biyung, aku kirimkan ketenangan di setiap sepertiga malamku
namun ada yang terurai dalam tengadah
yakni doa-doa yang kusut
dan wudhu yang terserap di antara debu tayamum
sekujur persendian dan lutut-lutut membiru
aku bolak-bolikkan selimut setebal kayu
di ruang tamu berusia hampir setengah abad
kursi-kursi duduk pasrah
tinggal kayunya mesti dipoles sedikit
diplitur mengkilat bagai bangku yang berbaris dalam gereja

panas yang sungsang di kamarku
lewat reaksi kimia berubah menjadi uap
siaran Revolusi Industri terangkat ke depan pintu
dari balik kunci kamar yang mesti diputar ke kiri
oksigen dan cahaya menerobos kabel listrik
aku mengganti saluran tivi, menekan lebih lama tombol naik-turun suara
meningkatkan kontras warna
sambil menambah sesekali kadar kecerahannya
mengubah layar datar menjadi lebih cekung
seperti yang nampak dalam bilik sinema

citramu Biyung, bergerak maju mundur
di sebuah percetakan, lembaran wajahmu 
menumpuk di meja kasir
pasang-surut yang terdengar dari balik mesin fotokopi 
menculikku secara paksa, merampas kepulan asap secangkir kopi yang mulai dingin
tinggal ampasnya mengerak dan terendap

Biyung, sukmamu melintas dalam benakku
ketika pertama kali kuperhatikan kaligrafi 
di sudut lukisan Dewi Guanyin
milik seorang pelukis kontemporer
matanya setengah terpejam
bulan berpendar dari balik bahu
disusul teratai-teratai air yang mengembang

dengan menceritakanmu di sini Biyung
semacam keheningan menyelamatkanku
aroma satin tercium pekat
warna putih mendominasi lengkungan di tengah dadaku
sebuah kalung yang antik, dulunya terikat di sini
melilit bagai ular, mengintai mangsa dari lubang-lubang di parit
meski gelap dan pengap


seperti kata Sapardi, hanya dukamu abadi


Jekardah, July 2019

Label:

Komentar

Posting Komentar

hembusan yang akan disampaikan pada nona-angin

Postingan populer dari blog ini

Writing As A Love Language

:Vin Elk, Ars Magna, & Lady Loved* Lately, I have enjoyed writing a lot. Writing worked on me the way Dumbledore did while he was in Penseive, so he could experience his memories through other perspectives. He uses it to siphon the excess thoughts from his mind, pour them into the basin, and examine them at leisure. Writing has helped me to untangle my mind, examine what to deliver, communicate the messages verbally and non-verbally, and reflect on how this writing will evoke certain emotions or moods. Writing becomes the mirror that provides insight into who I am, what I desire, what I experience, what I value, and what I am not into. Writing becomes the language that deliberates my inner peace. On another level, writing could answer the quest that dwells in my mind.  I am glad to share what is significant for me right now. Being loved by the right person and people is heaven, and so is being respected, prioritized, supported, desired, and understood. The right person and peop...
Posting Komentar
Baca selengkapnya

The Essence of Learning New Things Every Day

Everyone basically has opportunities to learn something new every day. They learn to get a new skill or to let go of what doesn't belong to them. The cycle comes and goes. Learning something new is not only a shortcut to improve one's life, but also to make one's meaningful, and their presence could make the simplest form of change.  I was once asked about the skills I have other than teaching. I confidently responded to them that I have enough skills in writing, photography, and cooking. While doing my responsibilities in the class, I value the three areas will be beneficial for me in professionalism. I have unlimited resources to access them if one day, I could only choose one area to support me for a living.  As an individual who has to make a move every day, I see learning as a potential way that brings us to become more selfless. We can learn new things every day as long as we have the courage and willingness to be a beginner. A beginner carries honesty since they have...
Posting Komentar
Baca selengkapnya

A One Year-Old Bonding

I was having a brief and light conversation with my boyfriend about how to create more memorable stories, create sparks in our relationship, and make better plans for our future. What I deeply appreciate about him is that he never ceases making plans for us as if he knows exactly where we're going, the potential issues we are going to face, how to cope with hard conversations, and many more. Reassurance, emotional support, and acts of service speak louder than just words. In lieu of the conversation, we had opposite points of view on how we would build healthy relationships and bondings in marriage while each of us is trying our best to achieve our goals. In addition, I am aware of his endeavors to listen more, to be more transparent in making decisions, to welcome discussions, to work collaboratively, and to articulate what we feel and what we think about assertively. We want to find the best route that could accommodate our needs in particular. There was a funny moment when I sud...
Posting Komentar
Baca selengkapnya