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Sentir Dolor, Luci

Sentir Dolor, Luci*


Luci, dengan wanita yang membawakan sekeranjang pakaian basahmu, aku diam-diam menyelinap dan berselimut di bawah tetesan rembesan air sungai itu. Aku melihat seolah cermin di tanganku terbelah dua, memisahkan wajah kemarahanmu, antara emosi dan kejengkelan yang kadang ingin terus melumatku sampai habis.

Luci, aku memanggil namamu yang berdentum melimpahkan gigil sekaligus keringat yang menakutkan. Membuatku kerdil lalu jatuh di pinggiran tanah landai. Sampai tiba-tiba aku berpikir bahwa kamu telah melepaskanku dari segenap cinta yang dulu masih tampak bundar dan melingkar.

Luci, jelas aku merasa sakit, timbunan kekesalan dan ketidakberdayaan yang dulu menjadi sekadar teori kini benar-benar terjadi. Dan kelenyapan atas kamu telah menjadi ketiadaan yang sebentar lagi mengabadi dalam kesendirianku

Luci, kamu mesti memelukku malam ini. Sebab angin dan bulan akan bersatu menikam kepala dan leherku yang dulu pernah merendah di atas pinggulmu. Sebab angin dan bulan membenciku dengan alasan agar kamu tetap menjadi harum kembang yang melayang di masing-masing malam

Luci, kehangatan memang bukan segalanya. Begitu pun dengan rasa manis setelah kerinduan dapat dituntaskan sesegera di kedua bulu matamu. Tapi ada satu hal yang mesti diketahui, tak ada yang lain di sini dapat menggodaku untuk pergi menyelesaikan kewajiban yang lama ditinggal oleh airmata, kecuali tangis yang menjadi tangis itu sendiri

Luci, sejak aku mengenalmu aku pun mengenal sepi. Apalagi setelah kamu hanya menjadi keinginan bagi kenangan untuk diresapi mimpi malam ini. Di hadapan suasana nyeri yang semakin gelap, aku bersaksi bahwa kamu akan tetap bersatu di cermin yang sudah terbelah. Di tanganku yang tak lepas menggenggam genangan air yang masih basah itu, mengalir namamu yang begitu deras dan senantiasa akan terus berseteru menemu muara yang buas dan jauh.



* Be in Pain, Luci

--sekayu, '10

Komentar

  1. Semangat yua bloggingnya...
    asyik lho blogging kalau ada waktu luang. Tinkatin terus dex

    BalasHapus

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