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melalui keindahan yang tiada


Dekat pohon arbey
seorang gadis duduk dan menyaksikan sederetan angin memeluk wajahnya yang lembab
Dilihatnya langit yang kedinginan
Hujan dan gerimis turun dari bukit

Dari tangannya nampak garis-garis yang pucat
Penuh harapan
Jalan pulang selalu memanggil
dalam ingatan. Dari mimpinya yang kadang-kadang datang dengan sepotong kue salju
Ia saksikan sebuah kompor menyala
Semangkuk derita yang gugur perlahan tepat di atas hidungnya yang berdarah
hampir matang, hampir beku

Matanya yang menjerit kelihatan lelah

Kemudian ia melangkah
menjauhi malam yang menyatukan waktu dan sunyi
Dari jiwanya yang diam
Matahari terbit

terbakar menjadi buih-buih yang ingin dilerai
Sedang jiwa yang kosong
Hanyut, namun tak pernah tiba di pantai
                : rumah yang dulu disebutnya tujuan

Seorang kekasih dari sebuah tikungan
berlari menuju puncak pundaknya yang tuli
Menyeru dalam halusinasi
Dinding dan seekor cicak bermain musik
Sebuah kaca yang memantul dekat jendela
tersenyum dan kembali memantulkan apa saja

Seorang gadis berlari tanpa membawa diri
Dari langkahnya muncul sebuah kantung celana robek
Cahaya mulai masuk menusuk kulitnya yang sampai saat ini
masih merindukan pesanan kerinduan cepat saji
yang bermukim di jantungnya yang angker

“usia tak mungkin
hanya sampai pada kematian”

04 Januari 2012, Jakarta

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