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Menandai Oktober

Sudah memasuki Oktober, sekaligus menjadi petanda menjelang penghujung tahun 2019. Selain menjadi lebih tua dari segi usia, saya berharap menjadi semakin matang dan bijak dalam mengambil keputusan.

Saya sedang bergumul dalam keresahan dan kegelisahan. Pergumulan ini bukanlah untuk hal-hal yang masif, tentu bukan, melainkan pergumulan kecil yang kolektif. Ketika sedang ingin bernapas, rasanya ada yang tersangkut di saluran pernapasan. Kelegaan adalah sesuatu yang mesti dicari dan diupayakan.

Di sela kesibukan yang semakin padat, ternyata masih ada semacam kehangatan dan ketentraman yang diam-diam menyelinap ke tubuh. Tidak hanya saat beristirahat sambil memadamkan lampu utama di kamar, tetapi juga saat sedang duduk di perjalanan menuju destinasi berikutnya, saya menemukan berbagai pertanyaan. Semuanya memiliki benang merah yang sama.

Sebagai seorang pengajar dan pendidik, saya bisa apa selain mengajar dan mendidik sekaligus menjadi siswa bagi murid di kelas. Sebagai seorang yang gemar membaca, saya bisa apa selain membaca. Sebagai seorang yang gemar menulis, saya bisa apa selain menulis, dan seterusnya. Lalu sebagai manusia, saya bisa apa? Saya bisa apa selain beradaptasi meskipun dalam prosesnya lembaran nyawa yang saya punya perlahan terkelupas.


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