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Resting

The exhaustion is real. It's not tired merely, but also fatigue. I still am grateful for what I've experienced and achieved so far. That doesn't mean to win, that simply means to taste what it feels like moving forward when I still figure out how to gain the strength, patience, and sanity at the same time. 24 hours a day will never be enough to just rest and get enough sleep when you dream that big. God will answer the prayers. At this point, He knows what's best for me. I walk the journey with Him as my backing. He hugs me when I'm weary. He grants me resilience. He guarantees protection. Over all, I'm quite content that I make a move even if it seems still far away to step on the finish line. Back then, my uncle gently reminded me that once I reached the finish line, it means I'm dead and could never create more.


I do remember when I dreamed bigger to start a sensory class, making the proposal, maintaining health - work - life balance, etc, it was a rollercoaster. January 2024, I was afraid of being unable to do a lot, to create a lot, to learn a lot. Then, Allah helps me opening lots of doors. Along the way, the fatigue gently kissed my body lol. Brain and body drained, but I cannot stop. Fatigue becomes dope. I'm addicted to it. I started to forget how to help myself when I need one. But that's ok. That's how I progress and Allah facilitates me to endure one. Alhamdulillah.


Now, my rizqi is not only about knowledge, money, love, persistence, friends, family, fiance. It is also time to rest, to breathe, to plan new strategy not only to survive, but also to live everyday fully.

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