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What This Year Really Means to Me

For sure it's truely personal to answer the inquiry. What does this year, 2025, really mean to me? It means chances. I was able to run the sensory class, experiment the small things with my little friend in the class, become healthier, become more confidence, choose love with awareness, become a learning partner of teachers and parents, have a better understanding in finance, to love and to rest, and to complain less. I know it isn't easy. And Allah will not test me more than I could bear. 

In many nights, I had lack of sleep. The storms hit my mind, the thunder pounded my anger, and sometimes the whispers of stepping backward spoke louder. In many nights, Allah woke me up for a couple of sujud. Sometimes I would respond, and the other nights I would go back to sleep ignoring His calls. Many times I saddened Him, but His love never ceases showering me. That's the proof of unconditional love. 

Today I woke up with headache. I took aspirin, it helped. I know the headache sent me a signal that I'm not ok. Maybe I need to slow down and breathe, celebrate the journey and progress, respect the tranquility and chaos. Dear my body, my soul, my sanity, my inner-self, I am not an empty vessel, I have the right to opt the doors in front of me. This time I will not go alone, I will go with His guidance, with the support from those who trusted and proud of me. I will bring all the energy. I live fully everyday, and die once. 

Dear my hard-working Daddy K, please be safe everyday. Glasgow and Jakarta is only one-call away. We grow older together these past two years, let's grow even older together than we've ever imagined. I genuinely am proud of thee, I love thee ardently. 

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