Dum Medium Silentium

There will always be the first time for everyone. The first time to hear, the first time to feel, the first time to move, the first time to breathe and cry, the first time to drink, the first time to eat, the first time to respond, the first time to play, the first time to play together and solve the very own problem, the first time to enter school, the first time to teach, the first time to talk and engage with numerous audience, the first to be and do anything. . .till it becomes one day. . .the thing that was hard and challenging, could become a piece of cake. It takes courage, it takes sweat and tears, it takes sleepless nights, it takes restless days, it takes commitment, it takes everything. Maybe it takes your happiness away either. It may seem scary and it may seem crazy. It requires self and stress management. I always have choices amongst these options. I commence to reflect. Back then, I love to  compare people, wether it would be worth it or not at all. I compare A to B...

This one week, my mind buzzed. I know I had a lot to express. I always feel the urge to talk to people and barely know when to stop. I love creating world with words. Words are playground to me. Sometime I could slide, hop, roll forward, slither, or simply sit and watching people passing by. It's not a bout fun, but it's the awareness of creating more and more. I will try to invest 1 hour each day to write, to think, to get lost, to be found, to express, and write again. Over and over. I hope there will be more people connect and read me. Insya Allah 🤍

What does it mean to accept? To accept means to recognize and to acknowledge reality as it is. Reality could be painful or beautiful. In the context of trying our best, acceptance means we're totally ok to not feel ok, and that we acknowledge that to try our best is a must, it's our responsibility as it is a part of ikhtiar, and that we begin to live with the truth.  This one year, maybe the next one year too, is going to be the restless years. The season to juggle, that's what my fiance told me. He also added, that to accept is to understand the restless years are temporary, it ain't permanent as long as we walk hand in hand.  These two months, after my fiance's flight for his Masters, we didn't really talk much about love. Adjustment was and is our main topic recently. It could be stressful and yeah, there will always be hard moment at the beginning. When we adjust, we face the truth, we let ourselves to feel, and adjust to a new normal.  The time gap of 6 hou...

For sure it's truely personal to answer the inquiry. What does this year, 2025, really mean to me? It means chances. I was able to run the sensory class, experiment the small things with my little friend in the class, become healthier, become more confidence, choose love with awareness, become a learning partner of teachers and parents, have a better understanding in finance, to love and to rest, and to complain less. I know it isn't easy. And Allah will not test me more than I could bear.  In many nights, I had lack of sleep. The storms hit my mind, the thunder pounded my anger, and sometimes the whispers of stepping backward spoke louder. In many nights, Allah woke me up for a couple of sujud. Sometimes I would respond, and the other nights I would go back to sleep ignoring His calls. Many times I saddened Him, but His love never ceases showering me. That's the proof of unconditional love.  Today I woke up with headache. I took aspirin, it helped. I know the headache sent...