Langsung ke konten utama

Being Grateful for Good and Bad Moments

I am grieving today after experiencing uneasy moments. It happened yesterday. Being ignorance somehow could create other unanticipated issues. It is quite hard to keep myself sane. I feel like I have unaccomplished mission, to protect myself you name it. 

I stepped out looking for fresh air in the hope to help me feeling better. I strolled around the neighborhood for 30 mins. Let's say I was doing a 30 mins exercise. I looked up and the skies are bright, it's a full moon night. As if an empress, her moonbeam felt so soft, tender, and gentle. I stumble upon it. I couldn't take my eyes over the empress. Moongazing made me a girl who couldn't be moved. 

Indeed I need to detach from drowning into the depth of unenjoyment. I need to wake up, get up, and live the days fully as soon as possible. Excitement and sadness will always come and become the colors of our lives. It keeps spinning up and down accordingly. Just like a wheel, each turn will take us to places we never know. 

I had a deep convos with my younger sister the day before yesterday. I'm a touchy person and I admit it. Yesterday I had a well-spent Saturdate with my bebe. I sent him videos of two too-cute animated characters that acted cutely as couples. It brightened up my day since I could meet and hug him quite long, as if tomorrow will never come. We had discussed our plans subtly. Despite all the childlike glee, I also had a bad moment. I shopped online and planned to purchase a bag for my laptop. It costs 1 million rupiahs. I didn't notice it was a fraud until transferring the second transaction as a promo. They forced me again to send more money in seven digits number. They promised to refund in the next 10 mins. Alhamdulillah Allah still protect me with His Love. I tried my best to gather the energy I had today to report this event to the bank agent and cops. 

What I noticed when I had issues to cope with, I tend to face it peacefully. I had fear, disappointment, and guilt. A high tide ocean supposed to be wavey and moving towards the north and south, I was a motionless ocean instead insya Allah. I thank Allah for guiding and showing me better ways to regulate my anger and my expectation. I cannot demand the Universe for what I want. It will conspire to make what we need coming true, not what we wish for. 

I didn't rest well but the Saturdate memories assisted to soothe the night. I lost my appetite but I simply couldn't treat myself wrong especially on this stormy day. So I attempted my best to prepare good meals. I cooked spicy beef fried rice, boiled edamame, and ube with dark chocolate and walnuts. I commenced smiling and weeping in contentment. I was taught to be grateful no matter what was happening in my life, bad or good, mundane or extraordinary, all is in relativity with certain kind of spectrum. O Allah, alhamdulillah. 

I deeply appreciate the peace that is showered upon me. 


Label:

Komentar

Posting Komentar

hembusan yang akan disampaikan pada nona-angin

Postingan populer dari blog ini

Singkatnya, Aku Pulang

Kepada K. Aku mencitaimu sepanjang sinar bulan yang membulat sampai ke bumi tanpa dipantulkan ulang cahayanya. Air menggenang di tanah tapi hujan tertampung di kaca jendela. Langit berawan, namun bintang mengerdip, begitu genit berkelindan di balik matamu. Aku ingin mendaki ke atas bulan, memanjatkan hal-hal mustahil sambil memegang erat pergelangan tanganmu. Bawa saja aku, bahkan ketika kau sedang bermimpi, menghidupkan ulang harapan yang terpotong menjadi tersambung, satu-persatu, juga begitu pelan. Di perjalanan yang tidak begitu singkat, kita berkelana, mengarungi banyak kelok, jatuh dan tergelincir, menyasar hingga menemukan petunjuk dengan mengikuti kemana garis tanganmu menyebar. Tatkala garis itu terpotong, kita bergegas dengan menukik ke arah tebing yang masih hijau. Ucapmu, "Udara menjadi segar begitu kita senantiasa bersama." Maka kuikat kedua lenganku di pundakmu. Aku berdoa sejenak, bahwa meski bencana melanda, kita masih bisa berenang dan berpegangan lebih erat
Posting Komentar
Baca selengkapnya

The Essence of Learning New Things Every Day

Everyone basically has opportunities to learn something new every day. They learn to get a new skill or to let go of what doesn't belong to them. The cycle comes and goes. Learning something new is not only a shortcut to improve one's life, but also to make one's meaningful, and their presence could make the simplest form of change.  I was once asked about the skills I have other than teaching. I confidently responded to them that I have enough skills in writing, photography, and cooking. While doing my responsibilities in the class, I value the three areas will be beneficial for me in professionalism. I have unlimited resources to access them if one day, I could only choose one area to support me for a living.  As an individual who has to make a move every day, I see learning as a potential way that brings us to become more selfless. We can learn new things every day as long as we have the courage and willingness to be a beginner. A beginner carries honesty since they have
Posting Komentar
Baca selengkapnya

The Fall and The Rise, The Sorrow and The Courage

 Dear my love, Kelvin, please accept my deep condolence on the loss of your beloved sister and beloved grandma this year.  We never been taught how to understand the loss of our loved ones: father, sister, and granny. The grief can be particularly intense. It is accepted as natural part of life with shock, confusion, and also sadness. Grieving becomes significant to welcome those feelings and to continue to embrace the time we had with our loved ones.  I genuinely appreciate your personal willingness to share what you feel. Let's go hand in hand with this wide range of emotions. This sad news can be the most uneasy challenge we face. It also can be the remembrance to honor them. I am thinking about you who are experiencing restlessness, tightness in the chest, and breathlessness.  We don't miss our father, our sister, and our granny. It's not a goodbye for they always stay here, with us in our hearts with love and peace. We will continue the bond we had with our loved ones
Posting Komentar
Baca selengkapnya