Dum Medium Silentium

I am grieving today after experiencing uneasy moments. It happened yesterday. Being ignorance somehow could create other unanticipated issues. It is quite hard to keep myself sane. I feel like I have unaccomplished mission, to protect myself you name it.  I stepped out looking for fresh air in the hope to help me feeling better. I strolled around the neighborhood for 30 mins. Let's say I was doing a 30 mins exercise. I looked up and the skies are bright, it's a full moon night. As if an empress, her moonbeam felt so soft, tender, and gentle. I stumble upon it. I couldn't take my eyes over the empress. Moongazing made me a girl who couldn't be moved.  Indeed I need to detach from drowning into the depth of unenjoyment. I need to wake up, get up, and live the days fully as soon as possible. Excitement and sadness will always come and become the colors of our lives. It keeps spinning up and down accordingly. Just like a wheel, each turn will take us to places we never know...

8 Dhu'l-Hijjah, 2 days before 10 Dhu'l-Hijjah a.k.a. the Idul Adha day, was my birthday according to the Arab calendar. I didn't notice the date until my Mom rang and reminded me. It was a blessing to be able to celebrate my 31st birthday. Compared to the Gregorian calendar, the Arab calendar is 11 days shorter each year. I am 30 years old according to the Gregorian calendar, which means there are 330 days gap between my birthday in Gregorian and Arab Calendar.  Let me share what I did on my 31st birthday. So I had a fun date with my boyfriend. Early in the morning, he woke me up by phone. As usual, he recalled my first impression after waking up. I would buzz like a bee and he knew it was a complaint of why I had to wake up in the morning, especially on the weekend. He told me that he would pick me up for a date. He asked me to dress nicely but also casually.  With my eyes half closed, I showed him the green maxi dress I would wear. It was approved by him and the next duty...

I was having a brief and light conversation with my boyfriend about how to create more memorable stories, create sparks in our relationship, and make better plans for our future. What I deeply appreciate about him is that he never ceases making plans for us as if he knows exactly where we're going, the potential issues we are going to face, how to cope with hard conversations, and many more. Reassurance, emotional support, and acts of service speak louder than just words. In lieu of the conversation, we had opposite points of view on how we would build healthy relationships and bondings in marriage while each of us is trying our best to achieve our goals. In addition, I am aware of his endeavors to listen more, to be more transparent in making decisions, to welcome discussions, to work collaboratively, and to articulate what we feel and what we think about assertively. We want to find the best route that could accommodate our needs in particular. There was a funny moment when I sud...

Everyone basically has opportunities to learn something new every day. They learn to get a new skill or to let go of what doesn't belong to them. The cycle comes and goes. Learning something new is not only a shortcut to improve one's life, but also to make one's meaningful, and their presence could make the simplest form of change.  I was once asked about the skills I have other than teaching. I confidently responded to them that I have enough skills in writing, photography, and cooking. While doing my responsibilities in the class, I value the three areas will be beneficial for me in professionalism. I have unlimited resources to access them if one day, I could only choose one area to support me for a living.  As an individual who has to make a move every day, I see learning as a potential way that brings us to become more selfless. We can learn new things every day as long as we have the courage and willingness to be a beginner. A beginner carries honesty since they have...

J'ai trente ans cette année . Welcoming myself into the Club 30 holds a lot more significance. Celebrating a birthday doesn't mean cutting the cake and making a wish merely. Birthday reminds me of the journey I've been through. It also reminds me of growing older and becoming mature. One more thing, a birthday becomes important to celebrate my existence, that I'm alive, that I create and innovate, that I hug all my dreams, and that I let the Universe conspire in supporting me. I am grateful for what I have achieved and what I have not so far. I am always ready to let go of what is not meant to me and to receive the abundance sent to me.  Today I am celebrating my birthday in silence, not because I am alone. I decided to because I want to appreciate my energy and my inner peace. It's a humble birthday celebration by preparing healthy food and juice. People would ask about my parents, siblings, friends, colleagues, and boyfriend. They sent me heart-warming and sweet m...

 I actually have a lot to share, but my energy would be insufficient to share things at a time. The only solution I could do for now iw to regulate my expectation, my energy, and set the priority. Soon, I'll be back. Spending 24 hours a day will never be enough to juggle from one task to the other ones. And I will always to choose to be kind to myself. Wise men said your body is your temple, that's true. 

I planned to write a brief note about Kartini Day that we celebrated on 21st April, 2024. And yes, please wait until I gained my energy back so I will be able to write it peacefully 🤍