This is Sunday but it doesn't feel like Sunday. People said it's sunny day but for me it's gloomy. People were keen to gather with their loved ones, I'd love to, but I'm still digesting the emotions I welcomed today. What made being angry right now was different was that when I was furious, I resumed to be aware of the resource of the anger, was it from disappointment, rejection, abandonment, neglection, a cry for help, or myriad of other possibilities. I also found it hard synchronize the voice in my mind to what I witnessed that somehow people weren't capable to appreciate me. I thought, this anger was also triggered by my expectation that when I listened to people, they would listen to me in return. At this point, I forgot to set boundaries, to safe myself first, to comprehend that people are beyond my control, that it was necessary to regulate my expectation and reaction. The only headline that popped in my head was that I require to exclude myself, lock mys...
If there's something burdens me, I'll write it down and leave it on my notebook so I don't bother to carry it over and over. The issue I'm facing right now is health maintenance. I easily got exhausted by the physical activities that required my 100% presence. Being a teacher is a calling. Some other times, the honor I keep in my soul made me take the rest for granted. My body needs not only an 8 solid hours of sleep, but also a bunch of vitamins, organic jamu, gym that builds my fitness, and many more. Health doesn't come for free. When I wanted to rest, I would normally cut people off, and I would respond to few messages only. I need to learn to rest. In professional environment,I know I did my best. And I will pray so that Allah will always grant me health as He's the one who will listen and conspire to do the rest. Ya Allah, there were times the fatigue hugs me that tight till I have shortness of breath. And you're the only one who will always heal and...