Dum Medium Silentium

If a man worried about something, that's natural and pretty ok. If a man panicked and he turned up their voice a bit, then they really need to talk to us (their woman) and set our listening ears.  "Dear Daddy K, to be an ambitious man to make the dreams come true will cost you an arm and a leg. There is no time to die, to freeze and to sink into the deep ocean. If it's yours, it will be yours. If it's not yours, then pray harder as a spoiled boy seeking help to his parents until it becomes their concern and they decide to support you." Apart from being human after all, we must do our best. Daddy K told me, now he knows how it feels like to be a little boy in grade 4, and he will start to overthink and overanalyze tons of objects plus the pov over it. I also said, "I wish I could hug you since panicking is actually contagious." I just want to transfer back his reaction over the sudden news. But distant humbles us. That's absolutely ok since we at the ...

This past ten days, I was feeling low, having lack of sleep, mood swings, and external stressors. I was also doing diet that affects my health condition. It got worse since I had cramps during my first and second day of period. I was literally dying, I needed the ambulance, and doctor and my Mom and my Daddy K.  I saw doctor to get medical treatment for the cough, flu, and frequent sudden nose bleed. I requested to get antibiotics if it's possible, but the doctor said I didn't really need it. After 5 days treating myself well but still had tons of work to do, my health condition didn't improve that significant. Anyways, I had parents-teachers meeting as well for several hours so I had to postpone my lunch time 3 hours. I was shaking like a leaf.  I went home after finishing my duty. My sister rang me and that's how I know about this powerful drink and we call it 'Jamu'. It's quite simple to prepare one. I am content to be able to experience the benefit of dr...

Hi Daddy It's been the second year we celebrate your special day. Here’s to another trip around the sun. Your existence grants all of my wishes. Im grateful the universe brought us together. To know you is to love you, to be friend with you, to trust you, to grow together with you. Although my calendar tells me that today I have to tell you how much I love you, I hope you know I love you every day of the year. Happiest birthday, Daddy. May you be blessed, with joy and happiness, truly blessed. It's a year of growth and new delight. May your birthday shine, ever so bright!  You are loved. I love you more than the bad days ahead of us, more than any hard conversations we will have, more than the inch and miles between us, more than the smiles - tears - and each memorable moments we have before we close our eyes at night. Let this message be read and remembered by people who celebrate life, love, commitment, 'afiyah, mutual understanding, and perseverance. Insya Allah

Some might value insecurity was unkind to them, some might value insecurity was a blessing. I can't tell you which part of group I'm in. For me it is a double-sided coin. It feels unkind when I was unsure about my own self-worth. I attempted to figure out my own quality in lieu of the confidence crisis. I overanalyzed things that is actually good for my own progress. I somehow was afraid of facing the rapid changes, the inflexibility, being controlled, being rejected, being misunderstood, and many more. That's how I love working all alone rather than as a team, it's draining.  It wasn't on a sunny day, in the weekend, nor in peace when I found out the feeling of being uncertain could lead me to a person with a mental victim who couldn't get up and do her best for her very own life. This is a process of living I should say, when one is observing her journey, analyzing her milestone, doubting her believe, thinking and reflecting about the purpose of each scenario....

I was stunned by my own journey these past 15 years and how I became more aware of whom I built my interactions with. This journey served me the ups and downs. This journey, took me to a whimsical experience of meeting new people, collaborating with new ideas, arguing with different point of view, doing the best in achieving 'il sueno imposible', and letting go what doesn't belong the chapter. In this journey, people showed their colors and I learned to digest it gradually. It was uneasy, it triggered a lot of things from me deep down inside, encouraged me to change and to be humble.  In this journey, I met great people that somehow made me questioned and doubted myself a lot. And I thank Allah it became my inspiration to be a better human day by day. I doubted myself, I searched for the answer and it was found within myself. Somehow I got lost but I believe I will not waste my time to just wander nor to never come back.  One person looked great at least to me, I compared t...

It was a small talk between me and Daddy K about the journey we've been through so far, about the ups and downs, about growing and progressing, about welcoming the updated ones and letting go the obsolescence, about living that reminds us also about death, about grieving, lamenting, accepting, forgiving, and doing our best too. It was beyond my imagination how us, the two heads with different value and background could decide to choose to stay and to stick to commitment. Just like other normal human, there were times we two questioned about making a right decision amidst the unceasing challenges. Each day, we make a move, we take a step, we breathe, and we pray so Allah will grant us strength to keep being strong, and to allow us to recognize this is the right one through His guidance and blessings.  Each time we open up our eyes, waking up from dreams and facing reality, life has become a special story. This is the story of how me and him deal with a single step each day until we ...