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Lebaran Day

It's time to say goodbye to Ramadhan and tomorrow is going to be Lebaran day. Each year, a one-month-fasting becomes a lifestyle to reset our body after having eleven months to work hard, burn the midnight oil chasing the balance of work, life, and prayer I should add. The Ramadhan this year had a special meaning to me for I dealt with myriad of responsibilities, to be the person in charge for 3 events in my office in one week, participating in an exhibition in education, preparing school portfolio, doing lots of side hustle until I had a belated grieving when one of my uncles passed away, preparing the experiments for PBL Learning at school about volcanoes (and preparation shall never betray us), the holiday program for the sensory class and we attempted to dig more of experiments with kids, preparing and editing a school book, completing my Montessori final exam, preparing the launch of our home-made soap bar for our first bazaar, and many more. I thank Allah for His mercy and gu...
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InsyaAllah

It's just 3 days before my final exam, yes my heart beats quicker and louder. My palms swear each time I reviewed all the lessons. I race with time and all other distractions especially the fatigue. But for me, the Ramadhan this year becomes so special. Fasting will never cease me from doing what is good for me and for people whom I love. Fasting never reduce the energy, it boosts mine instead. There were moments I slightly felt sad since normally when facing exams, my parents or Grandmas were around, just to cheer me up. This time, I will do it by myself while regulating lots of things altogether. Like my boyfriend said, it's just temporal. All is well, and this too shall pass. This isn't my first time facing hurdles. Yes I'm on my surviving mode, but that's ok. Let's survive until I could live my fully again. Bismillah. My dear friends, wish me luck. This success isn't only for me, but for each of us who strives our utmost to never giving up and let Allah ...

Contenment

6 weeks buckling myself to my neverending workload, bigger responsibility, new challenges and opportunities, some days of juggling to other sensory classes, my Montessori final exam on next Tuesday, new confidence, and many more. Life is a blessing indeed. Tonight I'm able to cuddle with my bed. Those restless nights paid off insya Allah. Tonight lemme rest tranquilly., amiin

When Teachers Need to Repress The Freedom of Dressing Up

I feel bad about teachers required to wear their clothes with modest style, being repressed to express who they really are through fashion, and being excluded from the options to choose what to wear in their working area especially when they need to interact with parents. Is it because as Indonesians, teachers need to dress up only to cover their body? Let's reflect on why does everyone need to put on their clothes. Yes they put it on to support them from extreme weather and temperature, to show their power in society, to tell that they belong to certain tribe and culture, to boost their confidence when they need to perform, to appreciate themselves and people they love, etc. Lately I was observing how people would react when I wear certain clothes, namely the sleeveless dresses in particular. Personally, I am kinda way impulsive in doing shopping clothes. I sometimes would consider their function or just to purchase one since it looks gorgeous, manufactured with good fabrics, and ...

Home Lies Within My Heart

This is Sunday but it doesn't feel like Sunday. People said it's sunny day but for me it's gloomy. People were keen to gather with their loved ones, I'd love to, but I'm still digesting the emotions I welcomed today. What made being angry right now was different was that when I was furious, I resumed to be aware of the resource of the anger, was it from disappointment, rejection, abandonment, neglection, a cry for help, or myriad of other possibilities. I also found it hard synchronize the voice in my mind to what I witnessed that somehow people weren't capable to appreciate me. I thought, this anger was also triggered by my expectation that when I listened to people, they would listen to me in return. At this point, I forgot to set boundaries, to safe myself first, to comprehend that people are beyond my control, that it was necessary to regulate my expectation and reaction. The only headline that popped in my head was that I require to exclude myself, lock mys...

Have We Hugged Ourselves Today?

If there's something burdens me, I'll write it down and leave it on my notebook so I don't bother to carry it over and over. The issue I'm facing right now is health maintenance. I easily got exhausted by the physical activities that required my 100% presence. Being a teacher is a calling. Some other times, the honor I keep in my soul made me take the rest for granted. My body needs not only an 8 solid hours of sleep, but also a bunch of vitamins, organic jamu, gym that builds my fitness, and many more. Health doesn't come for free. When I wanted to rest, I would normally cut people off, and I would respond to few messages only.  I need to learn to rest. In professional environment,I know I did my best. And I will pray so that Allah will always grant me health as He's the one who will listen and conspire to do the rest.  Ya Allah, there were times the fatigue hugs me that tight till I have shortness of breath. And you're the only one who will always heal and...

Little Tokyo

Tell me about one thing that could become a new hope and motivation in 2025, a simple sentence I told myself today. Not many words I could tell unless intentionate and mindful. These are two words that hopefully will unwrap the miracle this year. Amen On the last week of January, we celebrate Isra' Miraj and also CNY. It's just a great moment to celebrate two big days in one week. And before that celebrations, my baby K and I had a triple date with my friends. We went to a restaurant and ate good food. But my friends had to leave earlier for dessert hunting nearby and we promised to catch up. When we were about to go, I grabbed my bag and dropped my phone at the same time. I tried to make a phone call and locate where my friends were. Unfortunately the phone failed to be on. I was panicking a bit but K tried to check and charge it in the hope it would be ok.  He took me to a phone service center. We went there by foot, lol. It was fun. We'd never been there before. Since he...