Dum Medium Silentium

 I actually have a lot to share, but my energy would be insufficient to share things at a time. The only solution I could do for now iw to regulate my expectation, my energy, and set the priority. Soon, I'll be back. Spending 24 hours a day will never be enough to juggle from one task to the other ones. And I will always to choose to be kind to myself. Wise men said your body is your temple, that's true. 

I planned to write a brief note about Kartini Day that we celebrated on 21st April, 2024. And yes, please wait until I gained my energy back so I will be able to write it peacefully 🤍

Next month, I'm going to turn 30. For me, it's a special number. I'm growing older, wiser, better. Living in my 20's means living for ambitions. I was afraid of doing nothing, waking up late on the weekdays, didn't have a lot to earn, had so little on my plate, being afraid not to choose to be stronger, being afraid not to take risks, being resilience when I fail, being afraid to love with no red flags, and many more. But this cheerful girl in fact was consumed by the lack of capability to deal with her stress language.  As the time goes by, from flight phase, to fawn phase, and keeping moving to freeze phase, I could feel the pain is real and I'm close to reality. From flight phase, I used to avoid the stress, I was afraid of people who looked for me. From fawn phase, I used to please people, I would do anything to make people happy as long as they never leave me. And from freeze phase, I used to confuse to decide what to do when the stress slapped my face that

What the eye sees, the heart remembers So I destroy my sight to set free my heart Peace covered the earth, from one end to another Oceans need no more shores to make one swims yonder I pull better not harder The rope seems understanding and obedient Poison somehow must be taken as a lesson Ugliness must be valued as it is good Absence must be accepted Lamentation brings patience and endurance Love sets no more fire nor flood but only faith that's unconfined Palembang, 2024

:Vin Elk, Ars Magna, & Lady Loved* Lately, I have enjoyed writing a lot. Writing worked on me the way Dumbledore did while he was in Penseive, so he could experience his memories through other perspectives. He uses it to siphon the excess thoughts from his mind, pour them into the basin, and examine them at leisure. Writing has helped me to untangle my mind, examine what to deliver, communicate the messages verbally and non-verbally, and reflect on how this writing will evoke certain emotions or moods. Writing becomes the mirror that provides insight into who I am, what I desire, what I experience, what I value, and what I am not into. Writing becomes the language that deliberates my inner peace. On another level, writing could answer the quest that dwells in my mind.  I am glad to share what is significant for me right now. Being loved by the right person and people is heaven, and so is being respected, prioritized, supported, desired, and understood. The right person and people I

Predisposing* Pipiku memerah tatkala kau menempelkan sepasang pipimu bergantian Ada lubang yang dangkal namun melengkung, membikin senyummu menjadi rahasia paling manis di tahun ini Aku berkelana, menyisir hutan yang melingkari alismu Angin yang sejuk turun dari kelopak mata, mendesir di sela-sela penglihatan yang belum juga mengabur bahkan ketika kantuk menjadi bahasa untuk semua cinta   Tak ada buah yang matang di usia kita ketika memasuki musim panen Buah yang merah pernah merekah di lipatan bibirmu, manis dan basah Daun yang hijau terlambat menguning dan gugur menuruni lipatan yang sempit di dada Meski telah kau kubur berbagai musim dalam setahun penuh di perutmu, kenangan yang menyalakan api di sekitar perkemahan malam hari terus terang, menjaga sumbu yang kecil di ujung jari, memercikkan bisikan-bisikan mungil hingga mengalir di sepanjang kolam kehidupan Ucapmu, airnya bermuara ke nadi, jalur yang lebih panjang dari lintasan ekspor impor   Maka, di hari-hari yang terasa singkat A